Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #23
From the Greenbelt of Boise, Idaho, Winds of changing weather
When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability… To be alive is to be vulnerable. – Madeleine L’Engle
It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. – e.e. cummings
Faith is not something to grasp, it is a state to grow into. – Mahatma Gandhi
You are not a drop in the ocean, you are the entire ocean in a drop. – Rumi
We’re amidst a season of dramatic changes. And, it is easy to pull back and think about what needs to be done to make things right again. If only I could make these changes, then everything will be … again. We become focused on fixing the problems we identify.
Unfortunately, we’re reacting to a judgment of a static past image of who and where we are.
Looking back on my life there are several times when I was told that I wasn’t getting the “right” results, and people were "disappointed" in me. My reaction was to dive into more details to figure out better answers, and then work harder to achieve them. The judgement I felt was a poor grade in school, or a lower rating at work. I felt vulnerable disappointing other people, and my reaction was to work harder to not disappoint, and not be vulnerable.
By over focusing on the past and my reaction to eliminate any vulnerability to other people’s judgments, I lost sight of who I am, and did not consider who I want to become. I ultimately came to see that the path of fixing myself was leading me into a downward spiral.
My Aikido Sensei offered me a different vantage point. Instead of focusing on fixing what I perceived to be a weakness, he suggested growing the self that has not yet lived.
By focusing on growing who we want to become, we shift from reacting to creating.
It is not an easy path, it requires accepting vulnerability and being courageous to experiment and grow. Through disciplined practice supported by teachers who have traveled the path before us, we grow faith in ourselves.
I believe we all have the capacity within us to grow, and support the growth of those around us. Accepting who and where we are, and committing to growing the self that has not yet lived, opens up possibilities and choices that we do not consider when we’re focusing on fixing.
What supports you in growing the self that has not yet lived in you?
I work with executives and professionals to make the shift from reacting to the complex, volatile world around us, to creatively leading. Together we build trust, and cultivate leadership and organizational effectiveness to create a better future today. To learn more visit here.
Let’s create a better future today!