Category: Observation

Mindful Awareness, a foundation for Leading

11/20/2016

November 20, 2016
Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #14
From the Greenbelt of Boise, Idaho, Frosty mornings

The present moment is filled with joy and happiness.
If you are attentive, you will see it.
– Thich Nhat Hanh

By developing mindful awareness, we enhance our ability to lead our own lives and engage other individuals toward achieving a common purpose as leaders of teams, groups or organizations.

Mindful Awareness or Mindfulness
Mindful Awareness consists of feeling, experiencing or noticing what is happening within ourselves and with the individuals and wider world around us (awareness), and considering its potential importance (mindful). The combination of the two is the subject of Mindfulness. Mindfulness has been developed and practiced for thousands of years, and has renewed value in our current always-on, internet-connected world, benefiting our health, well-being and leadership effectiveness. Mindfulness is the focus of new scientific discovery, has led to the creation of multi-disciplinary fields such as Interpersonal Neurobiology, and provides significant insights for leaders and practitioners in many fields. In the The Mindful Brain, Dr. Daniel Siegel states “Mindfulness in its most general sense is about waking up from a life on automatic, and being sensitive to novelty in our everyday experiences.”

Characteristics of Mindfulness
Jon Kabat-Zinn in Mindfulness for Beginners, describes mindfulness as “awareness, cultivated by paying attention in a sustained and particular way; on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.” Siegel describes mindfulness as having several qualities including “reflection on the nature of one’s own mental processes, … having awareness of awareness,” and “approaching our here and now experience with curiosity, openness, acceptance and love”. By developing mindful awareness, we open access to a wider range of resources within ourselves, enhance our compassion and empathy for ourselves and others, and show up with greater skill in engaging and leading our teams, groups and organizations. By being open, curious, accepting and discerning in the present moment, we set the stage for the connection, collaboration and innovation that is vital to the health of people, organizations and society.

Developing Mindfulness
Developing mindful awareness consists of learning and practicing self-observation. Through history this has been done through a wide variety of reflective and meditative practices. By dedicating time to observe and reflect on how we show up in different situations we begin to distinguish our sensations, feelings, beliefs, opinions, judgments, habits and the narrative that is often running in our mind, from what is happening right now. For example, before I enter a meeting I find it useful to assess my current situation, including:

what am I sensing, and where am I feeling tight and constricted vs. open and accepting,
what is my energy level, mood and mental attitude,
what story is running in my mind, and how might that be different from what is actually happening,
how do I want to connect and relate to the people and world around me,
what do I need and what do they need right now.

After the meeting or at the end of the day I find it useful to reflect on what I noticed before entering the meeting, what happened during the meeting, and what I notice now upon reflection. Doing this as regular self-observation practice will develop Mindful Awareness, and the capacity to lead growth and change for oneself and with others.

Let’s create a better future today!

Captured by Resentment

11/6/2016

November 6, 2016
Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #12
From the Greenbelt of Boise, Idaho, First fall frosts

The worst resentment that anybody can have, is one you feel justified to keep.
– Louis Gossett Jr.

Bitterness and resentment only hurt one person, and it's not the person we're resenting – it's us.
– Alana Stewart

Ever experience a situation where you felt wronged, insulted or injured? As one of my teachers likes to say with a grin, “maybe once in your life?” It is easy to take something said or done, or not said or not done when we expect it to be, as a surprise and interpret it as an intended insult or wrong. A narrative then starts to form in our mind.

When we create and continually reinforce a story in our minds about them vs. us, it can fester into a persistent ill will, an ongoing resentment at something or someone. It can foster a fear of loss, and a smoldering anger to strike out.

It doesn’t mean that our initial felt sense of being wronged, insulted or injured is incorrect. There are real wrongs, insults and injuries that occur in life. The opportunity lies within how we respond when they occur.

The problem is, when our mind is focused on resentment, we can lose sight of everything else. By allowing resentment to build and persist within us, we can be captured by it. Over time dealing with the pain of ongoing resentment can seem easier than overcoming the fear of letting it go to step into new creative conversations. We become locked in, holding ourselves back. Much like the tree in the image we pull on the resentment wire, digging the barb deeper and deeper into us.

A first step is to simply observe when resentment starts to arise within us, and notice how it helps us or holds us back. When we begin to see how it holds us back, we can explore how to let it go. As we let resentment go, we open ourselves to discovering new ways to create a better future.

I work with Leaders and teams using Conversational Intelligence® to see and let go of resentment and develop our capacity to have creative conversations.

Let’s create a better future today!

Power of a Growth Mindset

10/9/2016

October 9, 2016
Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #8
From the Greenbelt of Boise, Idaho, Leaves are Turning Yellow and Red

Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.
– Henry Ford

A mindset, according to Merriam-Webster.com, is a “particular way of thinking; a person’s attitude or set of opinions about something.” Carol Dweck, a psychology researcher and professor, has studied mindsets, and their implications on people’s lives from childhood through adulthood. In her book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, she describes the view we adopt as either a Fixed Mindset – “believing that our qualities are carved in stone”, or a Growth Mindset – “believing that our basic qualities are things we cultivate through our efforts”.

When using a fixed mindset we view information and situations through a lens of judgement and we react based on our interpretations, often tightening and restricting the choices we’re willing to consider. Success from a fixed mindset is being correct, right or being viewed as smart and talented.

When using a growth mindset we view information and situations through a lens of discovery and learning, and we respond with constructive actions to explore and develop our abilities. Success from a growth mindset is stretching oneself, learning and developing one’s capabilities and knowledge.

Fortunately, we’re all born with an incredible appetite for discovery and learning; just watch a healthy child in the first few years of their life to see the passion and energy that is present. We develop a fixed mindset as an unconscious pattern of responding to keep us safe, connected and respected through our individual experiences, and the environments in which we live, study, and work.

When we over-focus on goals and outcomes, to the neglect of discovery, learning, and adapting along the way, we limit ourselves and our organizations. As an individual, this can lead to a downward spiral with a sense of feeling trapped in a space we cannot escape without taking desperate measures where “the end justifies the means”, being resigned to muddle through, or giving up.

At an organizational level it can be an over-focus on employee performance to the neglect of employee development, and/or an over-focus on meeting quarterly numbers to the neglect of developing organizational capabilities. Both can quickly lead to burn-out and disengagement of employees, and longer term decay of the organization’s business.

How do we shift mindsets?

The first step is to become aware, through self-observation, of what mindset we utilize when we’re facing a challenging situation. It is useful to review each day, recall what challenging experiences we faced, and what mindset we were utilizing as we responded. Once aware of our conditioned responses, we can explore them. As we do that, it is critical to compassionately accept that our unconscious mind has been taking care of us, and to consider what it has been protecting us from.

Accepting where we are and what we need without judgement, opens us up to consider what choices might better serve our needs now. Then we can design safe-to-fail experiments that allow us to test and evaluate our new options. It is important to realize that our current response patterns are often deeply embedded in our whole system, and that it will take training and practice to embody newly designed responses so they are available when we want them.

It takes personal commitment, training, and practice to make such a shift. I suggest considering how you might be supported in the process by teachers, coaches and mentors.

How might mindsets be limiting you and the organizations you lead and contribute to?

How as a parent, teacher, and leader might you foster an environment that supports the development of a growth mindset?

What next steps will best help you?

Let’s create a better future today!

Caught Off Balance

9/25/2016

September 19, 2016
Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #6
From the Greenbelt of Boise, Idaho, Leaves are Falling

Center is a state of unity in which effective action, emotional balance, mental alertness, and spiritual vision are in a harmonious balance. When we’re centered, our actions are coherent with what we care about.
– Richard Strozzi-Heckler

In the ebb and flow of life, it is easy to be up ended by a wave catching us off balance. Whether it is a surprise, a shock, unpleasant news, or just one too many requests for our attention, we can be triggered into a state of reacting to what just happened.

Consider what happened the last time someone cut right in front of you while driving in heavy traffic. What do you recall? This last week, someone accelerated rapidly past me in the right lane, cut in front and slammed on their brakes barely avoiding rear ending the car stopped at a red light ahead of us. I too had to brake quickly. Triggered by the events, my body tensed, I felt anger rising, I expressed a few choice words, and a story about the driver of the car with out of state plates launched in my head.

What do you remember about the last time you were in a hurry to complete something, and the program or system didn’t work the way you expected to, or returned your submittal with an error message? This last week a website for a program I offer with a colleague was down, and we were told about it by an interested client. When escalating it to the website company, their support was somewhat evasive, and while it was an easy resolution, it left us concerned it will continue to occur with no warning.

These are just two of many triggers that can catch us off balance, and up end us into a state of reacting out of fear or anger. Our opportunity is to develop our capacity to ground ourselves, regain our balance, and then choose to respond from a place of center so “our actions are coherent with what we care about”. When you're triggered by life's events, what practices help you ground yourself, regain your balance, and respond from center?

I work with owners, executives, and professionals to achieve extraordinary outcomes they care about, amidst events that catch them off balance. Learn more about Generative Leadership Coaching.

Let’s create a better future today!

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Mindful Awareness, a foundation for Leading

Captured by Resentment

Power of a Growth Mindset

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