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The Illusion of Returning to Normal

7/2/2017

 
Picture
July 2, 2017
Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #43
From the Greenbelt of Boise, Idaho, Warm summer morning


 

Normal: conforming to a standard; usual, typical, expected.
– Google

Normal: perpendicular to a tangent; at a point of tangency.
​– Merriam-Webster
 
 



I recently returned from a week-long trip visiting family and attending a leadership certification program. I was expecting life to return to normal. Contrary to my expectations, I’d moved off on a tangent, requiring me to adapt.
​
Yes, I was tired from long days and nights, and 1600 miles of driving. I was also drained from a lot of people interaction and the stress of learning. What I didn’t realize is the events caused a deeper change, leading me to see the world differently.

It is easy to view a deviation from what we expect as a problem. When we do, our common response is to fix the problem to return to "normal". We can feel uncomfortable and harshly judge ourselves until things feel right again.

Not feeling my “normal” self, I’ve been wondering what’s wrong with me, making up several stories. Until it dawned on me that I’m in a transition, and part of my current reality is the discomfort of new expectations. I have a choice, I can give up on my new expectations or accept the discomfort and move forward.

Returning to “normal” is an illusion offering a known view at a moment in time. Growth requires exploring and experimenting in new territory while accepting the discomfort of not knowing. Each shift we make leads to a “new normal”.

My desire to return to normal to be comfortable, was getting in the way of creating new outcomes. Seeing the tension between my current reality and what I want to create, helps me accept the discomfort of stepping into new territory.

Here are a few questions to consider:
  • What new outcomes do I want to create?
  • How does returning to normal inhibit my growth?
  • What helps me step into new territory?
​
Let’s create a better future today!

Embrace Change to Create a Better Future

1/4/2017

 
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January 4, 2017
Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #20
From the Greenbelt of Boise, Idaho, Snow falling
 
The only person who likes change is a wet baby. – Roy Z-M Blitzer

The only constant in the universe is change. Nothing stays the same for a day, an hour, or even a second … Change is life, and the ability to change is the essential element of growth. The freedom founded upon the realization and acceptance of this truth, that nothing stays the same, is the source of the power of true creativity.   – Mitsugi Saotome


Embracing change is consciously choosing our future. – Thomas Crum

​It is normal to find ourselves resisting change. Unconsciously we can perceive change as a loss, threat or fear of the unknown, triggering our conditioned tendencies of fight, flight, freeze or appease.

When we react in the moment with our conditioned tendencies, we hold our breath, tense up, lose our footing, narrow the focus of our attention on the point of contact, and shut down our consideration of creative choices. Our impulse is to make something happen to return us to our previous state and situation.

We can become intent on regaining what was lost. Our emotional responses and the narrative story in our heads develop into a mindset that judges change harshly, locking us into positions of resistance. We develop habits, automated routines for responding to cues that trigger us, to react to changes without consciously being aware of what’s happening.

The problem is when we fall into a state of reacting, we lose our capacity to grow and create. As Mitsugi Saotome observed, “change is life, and the ability to change is the essential element of growth.”

It is easy to think the problem is with other people, processes or systems, and spend our time attempting to manage and control them vs. exploring how we can change and grow to lead creatively. A first step is to observe how we react to change. 
  • The last time you slipped on some ice or a wet surface, how did you react?
  • When a family member suggests a change to your plans, how do you react?
  • When a change at work affects you, how do you react?
  • When a change in your community affects you, how do you react?
  • How are you reacting to the recent election outcome?

Fortunately, we have the capacity to respond to change creatively inherent within us. Neuroplasticity enables the neurons in our body to adjust our responses to new situations and changes in our environment throughout our lives. We can change the story narrative in our heads, adjust our mindsets, and replace old habits that no longer serve us effectively with new habits that do.

Our opportunity is to embrace change and consciously choose our future. By embracing change, and learning to dance with life as it comes at us, we open the door to responding creatively.

         What helps you embrace change and lead creatively?

I work with executives and professionals to create better futures, leading with clarity and confidence. To learn more visit here.

Let’s create a better future today!

Reflecting on Where am I now

12/18/2016

 
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December 18, 2016
Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #18
From the Greenbelt of Boise, Idaho, Birds chirping & the crunch of snow at -4°F

Christmas is a season not only of rejoicing but of reflection. – Winston Churchill
 
Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful.
– Margaret J. Wheatley
 
Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection, will come even more effective action. – Peter Drucker
 
The human body and mind are tremendous forces that are continually amazing scientists and society. Therefore, we have no choice but to keep an open mind as to what the human being can achieve.  
– Evelyn Glennie
 
We approach the solstice this week, the shortest day of the year in the northern hemisphere. We will soon see the sun set on the end of the year as well. In many traditions, this is a time of rejoicing, as we make the turn to each day bringing more sunlight into our lives. 

Amidst the Christmas season as Winston Churchill observed, it is also a good season for reflection. Here are several questions I’m reflecting on now:
  • What impact did I create this year?
  • How am I learning and growing?
  • When am I most open minded and alive?

I find it illuminating to reflect on the impact I had. What did I contribute to with my family, friends, and the people, organizations and communities I engaged with? And, what unintended consequences might I have left behind through either my actions or inaction?

By considering the impact I’ve had, I awaken the opportunity for my learning and growth. Through reflecting on “what “worked”, “what didn’t work” and “what might be holding me back”, I set the stage for creating more effective action.

I find I need to compassionately accept what I observe to be real and true without self-judgment and interpretation. They can lead me astray, keeping me from seeing where I truly am. Accepting where I am now in my life, helps me open my mind for new learning and growth.

I’m inspired by Evelyn Glennie, virtuoso Scottish percussionist, deaf since the age of 12, who gives over 100 concerts a year playing barefoot to feel the music better.  As she notes, “we have no choice but to keep an open mind as to what we as human beings can achieve.”

​As I consider when am I the most open minded and alive, I find it is when I’m all-in, connected, learning and creating with other people. I rejoice in those moments.

I invite you to consider:
  • What impact did I create this year?
  • How am I learning and growing?
  • When am I most open minded and alive?

​I wish you a Happy Season of Reflecting and Rejoicing!

Lead with Clear Intention and Creative Impact

12/11/2016

 
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December 11, 2016
Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #17
From the Greenbelt of Boise, Idaho, Sun reflecting off the snow brilliantly

 

We either live with intention or exist by default.
– Kristin Armstrong
 
The smallest deed is better than the greatest intention.
– John Burroughs

Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise; seek what they sought.
​– Bashō Matsuo
 
 
What happens when you are pushed or pulled by someone or something?
 
For most of us, our default reaction is to push or pull back. In so doing we get into a shoving match or tug-of-war competition with no clear intention, and often leading to a lose-lose outcome.  
 
It is easy to stay in the default existence of reacting to what triggers us. Our conditioned reactions are fight, flight, freeze or appease to defend and protect ourselves. Consider the impact on relationships, teams, organizations and communities in which people are reacting to defend and protect themselves. It can create a downward spiral tearing them apart.
 
To shift the dynamic,  we must learn to create win-win solutions in the midst of what grabs us. It requires us to develop our abilities to respond with both clear intention and creative impact. Each moment offers an opportunity to consider the possible choices, and to perform creative deeds.
 
By observing and reflecting on the actions we take and their impact, we can clarify our intentions and choose to hone our skills to respond creatively when grabbed. Clear intentions give us direction. Creative impact holds us accountable to achieve what we intend. By refining them together we build our confidence to lead.
 
  • What are your intentions?
  • What creative impact do seek to achieve in your relationships, teams, organizations and communities?
  • What helps you lead with clarity and confidence when you're triggered by a push or pull?
​ 
I believe in compassionate action to create a better future today. Aikido and Improv Theater are two practices that help me hone my skills to respond creatively when grabbed.

I assist people in creating a better future today, for themselves, their organizations, and the communities in which we live and work. To learn more, visit Resources.
 
Let’s create a better future today!

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