Category: Confidence

Let Go of Control, Be in the Flow

8/31/2018

Aug 31, 2018
Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #79
From the Greenbelt of Boise Idaho, Crisp mornings again

The leaders and teams I work with are face continuous change.

Whether it is retail, healthcare, technology, manufacturing, professional services or even government agencies, the operating environments are constantly evolving.

There is an increasing and often overwhelming number of requests for time and attention. When the pressure builds beyond a manageable point, the common tendency is to regain control by tightening up. This shows up as physical tension, anxious and fearful emotions, and conditioned habit patterns of fight, flight, freeze or appease.

The problem is our reaction to tighten up holds us back from creatively engaging with our teams and partners to deal with what’s most important right now.

Consider your patterns for dealing with the pressure of incoming requests for your time and attention. How do you respond when it begins to feel unmanageable?

Imagine being on the raft in the picture above. What’s the impact you’ll have by attempting to take control in the middle of a rapid?

The good news is we can develop our capacity for presence and resilience, learning to let go of control and be in the flow to create with what’s happening now. The leaders and teams who master these skills create new possibilities in the midst of adversity.

I help people become Clear Confident Leaders, building Teams that Achieve with presence and resilience to create new possibilities in the midst of adversity. I will close the fall enrollment window for new clients on September 21st. If you're interested, visit here.

Let’s create the future today!

Tunnel Vision - What's at Risk?

2/3/2018

February 3, 2018
Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #63
From the Greenbelt of Boise Idaho, Dark skies

We have nothing to fear but fear itself. – Franklin D. Roosevelt

In any situation that you encounter, you can either respond to what is occurring, or you can respond to your ideas and emotions about what is occurring. – Peter Ralston

I was driving to a meeting thinking about a difficult situation, and my mind kept returning to one outcome: deliver a clear message about what needed to be satisfied, or else. This thought had been coming up for the past few days as the meeting approached, and it was intensifying as I moved closer to the meeting place.

I paused realizing my body was contracting and the resulting tension was leading me to “lock-on” to a specific outcome, and “lock-out” contextual understanding and other possibilities. I was so focused on getting through what I felt and thought to be conflict, my perception shrank to very narrow tunnel vision. I was stuck responding to my reactions instead of what was really occurring.

Stepping back, I reflected on what fears had been triggered that led to my body to react. I realized I’d fallen back into my long-lived habit of tensing to protect and driving to control to make it through difficult situations. The more I ran the story in my mind, the more I was responding to my ideas and fears about what was occurring.

What was really at risk here? Yes, a clear boundary needed to be communicated. And, what was at risk was an important relationship. If I shut down and focused on control, I was likely to create the risk I was most concerned about.

We develop reactive habits as we grow up, enabling us to cope with life’s situations as best we can at the time. These reactive habits have gifts and strengths within them that we can creatively utilize, when the habits are not in control of us. Learning to see our habits as they arise, enables us to accept their wisdom and let go of their control, and choose to respond to what is occurring.

I work with teams and leaders to create better results through the conscious practice of leadership. Let’s create a better future today!

The Gift of Coaching

11/15/2017

November 15, 2017
Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #55
From the Greenbelt of Boise, Idaho, Gray skies and rain

It used to be that having a coach was a sign of failure or under-performance. Nowadays, having a coach is seen as a sign of commitment to improving your performance. – Richard Barrett

We define coaching conversations as those that expand the other person’s awareness, thinking and capability.
– John Zenger & Kathleen Stinnett

Coaching is a personalized vehicle for supporting people in ‘stepping up and into’ their own development.
– Neil Stroul & Christine Wahl

Last week I was co-facilitating a program with 34 leaders, developing their skills in coaching others. In the middle of the second day, one person not feeling well stepped out of a couple of practice sessions. I was fortunate to join in to practice with two leaders with coaching requests of my own.

I had two separate events coming up, and I was concerned I was not ready for them.

One leader helped me think through preparing for a presentation later that week. I was worried my co-presenter who led the last time might not be available. In ten minutes they helped me clarify my fear, and create a clear action plan to navigate the situation. The next day I discovered that indeed he was not available. I found a new partner, revised the content and we delivered an effective presentation on Friday.

The second leader helped me prepare for setting up an exhibitor table at an event where I’m volunteering. I was all over the map, and didn’t have a clear idea of what I would put together. Again, in ten minutes they helped me clarify my intentions, and establish a clear pragmatic plan. Now, I’m ready to set up my exhibit table tomorrow morning.

I’m grateful to help leaders develop their coaching skills, to assist themselves and those around them. And as it frequently happens, I was the beneficiary of the coaching skills they developed.

Coaching provides a gift of learning and growth, and supports us in preparing for challenging situations in a complex world.

Let’s cultivate our leadership capacity to coach, and create better results today!

Standing on the Shoulders of Others

9/25/2017

September 25, 2017
Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #52
From the Greenbelt of Boise, Idaho, Passing the Fall Equinox

You stand out in the crowd only because you have these many, many carrying you on their shoulders.
– Desmond Tutu

Last weekend in Sonoma I listened to Country Singer RaeLynn, and IndyCar Driver Charlie Kimball, talk about performing in front of the crowd assembled. Neither could imagine doing what the other does: singing for a live audience, and racing at high speed.

During qualifying the day before Charlie had challenges with his car. A little more than an hour before he stepped on stage the problems seemed worse, as he spent most of the practice session in the pits with the team working on the car. The car was moved to the garage for final adjustments prior to the afternoon race, and Charlie left to speak.

RaeLynn’s singing of the national anthem went well. The race was intense: 203 miles through 1020 turns at an average speed over 103 miles per hour. Charlie and his team persevered through the challenges, and he finished eleventh.

Both RaeLynn and Charlie have overcome significant adversity to rise to high levels in their professions, including living with Type 1 Diabetes for more than ten years. Each gives credit to the people that support them, and the teams that make what they do possible.

As one of my teachers says, “I stand on the shoulders of my teachers, and offer what I do so that you may stand on mine.” I find it important to consider:

Who has helped me get to where I am, and how do I thank them?
How do I help others get to where they want to go?

Let’s help each other create a better future today!

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Let Go of Control, Be in the Flow

Tunnel Vision - What's at Risk?

The Gift of Coaching

Standing on the Shoulders of Others

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