Category: Becoming

Evolving Our Practice of Leadership

3/31/2018

March 31, 2018
Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #68
From the Greenbelt of Boise Idaho, Gray Skies, Spring Blossoms

“That’s what is holding me back, in my career and in my life.”

It was an Ah-Hah moment in a coaching conversation with a client.

Life constantly offers problems to solve, deals to win, and goals to achieve in life. We develop ways to respond to them much like the way we learn to ride a bicycle or drive a car.

We learn through experimenting to see what works and what doesn’t. When we find a method that serves us well enough, it moves from our conscious foreground into unconscious automaticity. How often do you consciously evolve your practice of riding a bicycle or driving a car now?

As we become proficient with a given method, we begin to identify with it, and say “I’m a problem solver”, “I’m a deal winner”, “I’m a goal achiever”, “I’m a leader.” This approach works for us until it doesn’t.

Inevitably life brings new situations where our learned habits no longer serve us. When we think it is so bad that we can no longer take it, the opportunity for an Ah-Hah moment emerges.

We have several choices for the perspective we take:

We could double down on what has worked before, using the identity and habits we’ve formed to focus only on the problems, deals and goals we can see.
We could choose to shift how we lead in this instance (another problem solved, deal won, or goal achieved with a new skill added to our toolkit).
We could also accept the invitation to see all moments as opportunities to learn, grow and evolve the way we lead and create.

By choosing the third perspective, we offer our best in the moment AND we pay attention to what the moment offers us to learn, grow and evolve our practice of leadership. Through practice we develop our presence and resilience, become more self-generative.

The growing rate of interdependence and complexity in our world today is flooding us with new moments in which to choose.

Consider the implications of choosing resistance to change (the first option) or single step changes (the second option). Will they suffice, or does the reality of our current situation require us to step into continual evolution of our practice of leadership (option three)?

I work with teams and leaders to create better results through the conscious evolution of our practice of leadership. Let’s create a better future today!

The Power of Deep Listening

3/6/2018

March 6, 2018
Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #65
From the Greenbelt of Boise Idaho, Sun defrosting the morning chill

Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.
– Karl A. Menninger

I was discussing Listening with a participant of the Leaders Who Coach Program I co-lead. We encourage leaders to listen three-quarters of the time when they’re coaching.

We quickly jumped through several levels of listening:

hearing and ignoring because I’m focusing on something else,
hearing and thinking of what I’m going to say in response,
just hearing what the other person has to say.

We acknowledged that it is easy to be caught in the first two levels, and not really hear the other person. Then we dug a little deeper to explore what it means to go beyond hearing the words to listening deeply.

To listen deeply, our intention shifts from an exchange of information to seeing the other person. Listening with our whole selves we actively reflect and paraphrase what we perceive back. By doing this, we create a sense of being seen and understood, a sense of belonging and connection that Karl Menninger describes “creates us, makes us unfold and expand.”

This kind of listening for what someone cares about, what they feel and sense, and what is unfolding for them can have a transformative impact.

Later in the day I received an email. She’d gone on a walk with a friend who was dealing with a very challenging situation. She practiced and shared deep listening, and it led to a significant shift enabling her friend to create an action plan.

We all experience challenging situations, and need someone who will deeply listen. Cultivating our capacity to deeply listen, develops leadership in ourselves.

I work with teams and leaders to create better results through the conscious practice of leadership. Let’s create a better future today!

What if I couldn't fail, only learn and grow?

2/10/2018

February 10, 2018
Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #64
From the Greenbelt of Boise Idaho, Frosty Blue Sky morning

You must change your state of being. You cannot change radically within the same state.
– Peter Ralston

What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?
– Kimbal Anderson

I was co-facilitating a program this week, preparing an experienced group of trainer/facilitators to deliver a new coaching program within their organization. As we started I asked, how do you feel about this?

“I’m not ready.”    “I’m anxious and concerned.”    “I’m a little fearful, we didn’t have time to prepare.”

What if you knew you couldn’t fail, only learn and grow?

“I’d be more confident.”     “I’d relax and enjoy learning.”     “I’d have fun.”

It’s pretty amazing how changing our state of being from “fear of failure” to “the joy of learning and growth” can transform us. The words we choose have deep emotional impacts. Consider the self-judgement that arises when you think of your life in the context of success and failure, good and bad.

The judgements create either-or thinking and foster a fixed mindset based on fear and doubt, leading us to hold back, and limit what we’ll consider.

By letting go of the "fear of failure" we open ourselves to discover what works and what doesn’t, improve our skills and develop ourselves; we adopt a growth mindset. As Peter Ralston describes, “The skill level we developed while growing up is not the end of what’s possible. It is simply where we stopped.”  We can restart and continue to learn and grow throughout our lives.

This change of being has a huge impact on organizations. The research by Carol Dweck and others is pretty clear, employees in Growth Mindset Workplaces are:

One-third more likely to feel a strong sense of ownership and commitment to the organization.
About half more likely to say their colleagues are trustworthy and their organization fosters innovation.
About two-thirds more likely to say the organization supports risk taking.

I work with teams and leaders to create better results through the conscious practice of leadership using a Growth Mindset. Let’s create a better future today!

Letting Go of Thinking I Know

1/23/2018

January 23, 2018
Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #62
From the Greenbelt of Boise Idaho, Blustery weather

Being at ease with not knowing is crucial for answers to come to you. – Eckhart Tolle

Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. – Gilda Radner

The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing. – Socrates

Last night I missed a phone call from my brother, and he didn’t leave a message. I made up a story about why he called. When I talked to him, I learned he had an entirely different purpose. Fortunately, I started by asking what was on his mind, rather than launching into my story. It made it easier to let go of my “knowing” and respond to him.

The problem is, when “I think I know” I become invested in my conclusions, and less able to discover and create with what’s really happening. I compound this when I insist "I’m right”. Trained through school to know the answer, and as an engineer to come up with the best solution, I’ve spent a lot of my life focusing on “knowing” and “being right”.

Here’s an experiment to consider. Think of a time when you went into a conversation with a team or group, or someone you care about, and you knew what was going on, and had an answer for what to do about it. How did that conversation go?

I’ve come to realize that I never see the whole situation, and that "thinking I know" gets in my way. Instead, it helps me to imagine possibilities, and curiously explore, expecting new discoveries and options to emerge.

It’s our common human response to react to a situation, construct an emotion and create a story using our lived experiences. Our body and brain react to stimuli, predict and act unconsciously to keep us alive. When that’s all we do, we create consequences with those we live and work with. It requires conscious practice to deliberately engage with the intention to discover and create, improvising in the moment together instead of reacting alone.

I work with teams and leaders to create better results through the conscious practice of leadership. Let’s create a better future today!

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Evolving Our Practice of Leadership

The Power of Deep Listening

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