September 19, 2016
Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #6
From the Greenbelt of Boise, Idaho, Leaves are Falling
 



Center is a state of unity in which effective action, emotional balance, mental alertness, and spiritual vision are in a harmonious balance. When we’re centered, our actions are coherent with what we care about.
– Richard Strozzi-Heckler
 
 
 
 
 




In the ebb and flow of life, it is easy to be up ended by a wave catching us off balance. Whether it is a surprise, a shock, unpleasant news, or just one too many requests for our attention, we can be triggered into a state of reacting to what just happened.

Consider what happened the last time someone cut right in front of you while driving in heavy traffic. What do you recall?  This last week, someone accelerated rapidly past me in the right lane, cut in front and slammed on their brakes barely avoiding rear ending the car stopped at a red light ahead of us. I too had to brake quickly. Triggered by the events, my body tensed, I felt anger rising, I expressed a few choice words, and a story about the driver of the car with out of state plates launched in my head.

What do you remember about the last time you were in a hurry to complete something, and the program or system didn’t work the way you expected to, or returned your submittal with an error message? This last week a website for a program I offer with a colleague was down, and we were told about it by an interested client. When escalating it to the website company, their support was somewhat evasive, and while it was an easy resolution, it left us concerned it will continue to occur with no warning.

These are just two of many triggers that can catch us off balance, and up end us into a state of reacting out of fear or anger. Our opportunity is to develop our capacity to ground ourselves, regain our balance, and then choose to respond from a place of center so “our actions are coherent with what we care about”. When you're triggered by life's events, what practices help you ground yourself, regain your balance, and respond from center?

I work with owners, executives, and professionals to achieve extraordinary outcomes they care about, amidst events that catch them off balance. Learn more about Generative Leadership Coaching.

Let’s create a better future today!

​September 19, 2016
Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #5
From the Greenbelt of Boise, Idaho, Appreciating the Balance at the Equinox


Breakdowns happen when you and I think we are talking to each other but we are really talking past each other. We are so engrossed in what we have to say that we don’t realize we are carrying on our own monologues, not dialogues.
– Judith E. Glaser
 
I don’t divide the world into the weak and the strong, or the successes and the failures.… I divide the world into the learners and non-learners.
– Benjamin Barber
 


In my own life and work, I often encounter situations where there has been a breakdown in communication. It frequently is the result of one or more people being sure they have the “right answer”.

It is easy to reach the state of being sure we have the “right answer”. Since we each have different vantage points and interpretations, our memories of the same situation can be very different from one another. I bump into this frequently with my wife and family, when recalling past events.

We’ve all been taught to come up with the “right answer” by our education system. And for many executives and professionals, we’ve specialized in fields of practice. We’re then sought out as experts for the answers to problems. We’re often promoted into management positions based on our expertise, and ability to advocate for our beliefs.

And most importantly, when we’re in a high stress situation, we can be quick to react with an answer that gives us the semblance of control when we’re feeling threatened.

Breakdowns in communication occur when we become so addicted to being right that we stop listening, and talk right past other people. We can quickly move from telling, to selling, to yelling as we try to convert people to our point of view, or impose control. At an extreme we stop learning from other people, and resort to attacking them for their perspectives.

The problem is, breakdowns in communication and loss of learning in groups, organizations and communities leads to a downward spiral of declining engagement, creativity, and innovation, and over time to a fear based culture that can result in a long term collapse.

How do we stop the downward spiral?
We start by observing our intention in any conversation:

• Are we no longer curious to learn from other people’s perspective and experience?
• Are we focused on telling or advocating for what we believe is the “right answer” to the exclusion of the insights and viewpoints from other people that are important to achieve an effective resolution?
• Are we talking past other people, and not engaging in an effective dialog, leading to a breakdown in communication?
• Did everyone go silent because we are in the highest authority position in the room?

We can choose to shift our intention to create the best possible course of action by sharing what we perceive and seeking to understand and learn what others perceive? I help leaders and teams learn and practice Conversational Intelligence® and Polarity Thinking™ to create an upward spiral of engagement, creativity, teamwork and innovation.  

We’re approaching the second equinox of this year, a point at which the amount of day and night are approximately equal across the earth. Now is a good time to recognize that our most effective conversations have a balance between sharing and seeking to understand others perspectives. By learning together, we can avoid the breakdowns and create better paths forward.
 
Let’s create a better future today!

September 11, 2016
Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #4
From the Greenbelt of Boise, Idaho, Transitioning to Fall
 

 
The wicked leader is he who the people despise.
The good leader is he who the people revere.
The great leader is he who the people say,
‘We did it ourselves.’
– Lao Tzu
 
 
 



 
One expectation of leaders is they clear the way for their people, teams, and organization. Many people are asked to lead based on their strengths in doing things to get results. When asked to clear the way, our unconscious reaction is to leap into doing, and/or telling people what we would do. This impulse to do and tell can get in our way, inhibiting trust and growth in our teams and organizations. Here are four alternatives to consider.

​Step aside to Clear the Way
This spring I hiked the Inca Trail with my wife, seven friends, two guides, and 16 porters. For one porter this was his first trip, and I was selected to be his “godfather”. Each day after breakfast and lunch we (the tourists and guides) would set off on the trail with our light day packs. About an hour later the porters would come streaming by with their heavy packs carrying everything needed for our comfort and safety. They were running to the next location to have it all setup for our arrival. Our role was to lookout for them, step aside to get out of the way, and say Thank You as they passed. At the end of the trail, my role was to recognize and thank my “god son” and the others who served as his guides along the way.

How often do you step aside to get out of the way, say thank you to those doing the heavy lifting, and recognize the leadership of your teams for getting everyone to the destination?
 
Facilitate dialog to make Clear the Way
Two years ago, I was hiking in the Cotswolds of England with my wife and six of the same friends. No guides, only written instructions and a map to get from one bed and breakfast to the next for six days and 65 miles. “Go down the street to the lane on the right. At the end of the lane, turn left. Follow the hedgerow on the right to the end of the field, cross the stile to the next field, and climb the hill to the far corner.” We frequently found ourselves unsure of where to go, got off course, and had to adapt. At those times, we would resort to independently reading the instructions and map, and try to figure out what next. Over the days we found a rhythm by asking “What’s your interpretation? What do you see? What choices do we have? What next steps do we want to take?” Everyone contributed insights that led to reaching our nightly destinations together.

When you reach situations where it is unclear, how do you facilitate the dialog and enjoy the learning along the way with your group?

Coach people to help them Clear the Way for themselves
As I shifted from having answers to facilitating dialog, I became more aware of where each person on my team was holding themselves back. I began to help people clear the way for themselves, through coaching. When you coach, you engage others to define the real issues for themselves, and use their strengths and abilities to create solutions. Coaching is a creative partnership using specific skills, process, and principles to support their development and capacity to lead.

How are you coaching people? What skills, process, and principles are you using?

Clear the Way for yourself
I’ve come to face that I am my biggest limiter, and I transmit my limitations to those around me. I now focus on seeing and accepting where I am, and finding safe places to play, learn, experiment, and practice the skills to extend beyond my growth edge. In addition to my professional development, I enjoy the art of Aikido.

Where are your safe places to play and learn to extend beyond your leadership growth edge?

I view leadership as a life-long journey of becoming. 

Let’s create a better future today!