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Making a Choice to Move Toward Mastery

6/16/2017

June 16, 2017
Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #42
From the Greenbelt of Boise, Idaho, Morning showers

It resists definition yet can be instantly recognized. It comes in many varieties, yet follows certain un-changing laws. It brings rich rewards, yet is not really a goal or a destination but rather a process, a journey. We call this journey mastery, … It’s available to anyone who is willing to get on the path and stay on it. – George Leonard, Mastery

Mastery— the desire to get better and better at something that matters. – Daniel Pink, Drive

Monday I received the debrief of a leadership assessment. It included a self-assessment and combined perspectives from six peers who graciously provided their views. I was eager to see where I am in my leadership development journey, and a little apprehensive too.

I was surprised where I undervalued what I do vs. others’ responses, and where I overvalued what I do. One area for growth and a couple habitual patterns that hold me back stood out.

With all assessments, it is how we interpret them and choose what to do that makes them useful or not. Being open to assessments for my growth helps me more accurately perceive where I am, and choose what I will do.

That doesn’t mean it is always easy. Moving toward mastery in any pursuit is a choice we make. Developing leadership in myself and those around me is a path I’ve chosen to travel.

I find it helps to have complementary practices. Aikido helps me develop my capacity to lead. It provides practice several days a week working with a partner under the leadership of our Sensei (one who has gone before us, and serves as a guide). In training, we discover what works and what doesn’t, and practice again and again to embody what works.

Developing Courageous Authenticity to become a Clear Confident Leader is my focus. I learn through my work with executives and professionals, and am supported by a community of coaches in discovering what works and practice to embody it.

I find the following three questions useful:

Where in our lives do we care to move toward mastery?
How do we assess where we are?
What partners/communities help us learn what works, and practice to embody it?

Let’s make a choice to move toward mastery and create a better future today!

Finding What We Care About

6/9/2017

June 9, 2017
Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #41
From the Greenbelt of Boise, Idaho, 50° temperature swing, 95° to 45°

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
– Maya Angelou

Sitting in the darkened living room I listened to stories being told, full of emotion, loss and loving memories. The shades were drawn on the windows and the lights down low as family, friends and people from the community came together.

A fifteen-year-old Latina, sophomore in my high school, had been abused and murdered on her way home from school. The stories I heard, were about how she cared for her family and friends, and found ways every day to make a difference in their lives.

As a sixteen-year-old white kid, all I could do was listen and reflect on what I heard. It is incredibly unfortunate that it takes tragedies to remind us what we care about. How did I get there that day?

I grew up listening to stories sitting at the table and on the porch with my grandparents (English and Dutch, French and Italian) and family and friends. One grandfather was a Methodist minister who found a way to weave Peanuts comic strips into his sermon. Something always happened to Charlie Brown, and my grandfather always found a way to illustrate, it is what we do with what life brings us that makes all the difference.

It was fall of my junior year that a Jewish friend of mine persisted in encouraging me to play water polo and join the high school newspaper staff. The first story I was assigned to write was about Paula.

I was at a loss of how to approach it. My mom suggested I call Louise.

My memory of Louise is of a powerful presence, full of love, laughter, and stern advice about the realities of life. As a Black woman who led family social services, she knew most people in town, and knew how to respond to most any kind of situation.

Louise said, come with me. She also told me, when we get there just listen and be willing to offer what you’ve heard that she really cared about.

Life can bring a lot of uncomfortable things our way. By entering into the situation, and listening to ourselves and those around us, we can discover what we care about.

We create a better future by listening to the many people around us that may appear to be different, and finding what we care about together. It most often is a common set of interests for family, friends and making a difference in the lives of those around us.

As leaders with our families, friends, organizations and communities, entering in to listen and find what we care about together is now more important than ever.

Let’s create a better future today!

Presence in Uncertainty

6/1/2017

June 1, 2017
Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #40
From the Greenbelt of Boise, Idaho, Storm clouds rolling by

Presence engenders creativity, agility, resilience, and authenticity, all key requirements of great leaders. When we are present, we are maximally resourceful and responsive to what our circumstances require of us.
– Doug Silsbee

It was a warm humid day as I rode the elevator up in the old building. I exited and walked around the corner on the worn carpet to the apartment where I’d stay the next two nights. I entered the apartment and turned left into the room I was renting while I attended a workshop.

Sneezing from the hint of an air freshener amidst the musty air, I was feeling stressed. My allergies were bothering me, and I was tired and hungry after seven hours of travel. I set my bags down and turned to go out for a bite to eat.

It was then I noticed a pack of cigarettes sitting on the table.

Now I was really on edge. I needed to be at my best during the workshop, and I did not want to spend two nights in an apartment with someone smoking.

What do I do now?

My host texted me, asking how I found the room. I hesitated.

What do I say? Do I stay here or go find a room somewhere else?

We can frequently find ourselves in new territory, feeling stressed and uncertain, and be unsure what course of action to take. Our conditioned responses for fight, flight or freeze activate quickly, shutting down our capacity to consider the possible options.

Twice I started to text my host, and twice I deleted it.

I started to walk out of the room, thinking I needed time to consider what next.

I paused, realizing I was still reacting.

I took a couple of moments to ground and center myself, and then texted my host: The room looks good. Does someone in the apartment smoke?

I waited.

No, came the reply, do you smell smoke in the apartment?

I’m not sure, I responded. I saw a pack of cigarettes on the table. I want to check as I have strong allergies and do not do well with smoke.

Neither of us smoke, and the whole building is non-smoking. The pack was left by a previous guest, and I’ll dispose of them when I get home. I’m sorry you found them, came the reply.

Ok. Thank you for clarifying, was my response.

Relieved I began to settle down, went out and found a bite to eat.

Reflecting on my experience, I realize how small things (smells and the sight of a cigarette pack) on top of being stressed, tired and hungry, sent me into a reactive state. By pausing to clarify what I needed most in that moment and making a clear request, I was able to respond in a more constructive way.

We create a better future by being present in the moment, calming ourselves, considering what we really need, making clear requests and taking necessary action instead of reacting.

I ended up having a good stay in the apartment and a productive workshop.

I assist people in developing presence and capacity for compassionate action in challenging situations.

Let’s create a better future today!

Making a Choice to Move Toward Mastery

Finding What We Care About

Presence in Uncertainty

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