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Evolving Our Practice of Leadership

3/31/2018

March 31, 2018
Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #68
From the Greenbelt of Boise Idaho, Gray Skies, Spring Blossoms

“That’s what is holding me back, in my career and in my life.”

It was an Ah-Hah moment in a coaching conversation with a client.

Life constantly offers problems to solve, deals to win, and goals to achieve in life. We develop ways to respond to them much like the way we learn to ride a bicycle or drive a car.

We learn through experimenting to see what works and what doesn’t. When we find a method that serves us well enough, it moves from our conscious foreground into unconscious automaticity. How often do you consciously evolve your practice of riding a bicycle or driving a car now?

As we become proficient with a given method, we begin to identify with it, and say “I’m a problem solver”, “I’m a deal winner”, “I’m a goal achiever”, “I’m a leader.” This approach works for us until it doesn’t.

Inevitably life brings new situations where our learned habits no longer serve us. When we think it is so bad that we can no longer take it, the opportunity for an Ah-Hah moment emerges.

We have several choices for the perspective we take:

We could double down on what has worked before, using the identity and habits we’ve formed to focus only on the problems, deals and goals we can see.
We could choose to shift how we lead in this instance (another problem solved, deal won, or goal achieved with a new skill added to our toolkit).
We could also accept the invitation to see all moments as opportunities to learn, grow and evolve the way we lead and create.

By choosing the third perspective, we offer our best in the moment AND we pay attention to what the moment offers us to learn, grow and evolve our practice of leadership. Through practice we develop our presence and resilience, become more self-generative.

The growing rate of interdependence and complexity in our world today is flooding us with new moments in which to choose.

Consider the implications of choosing resistance to change (the first option) or single step changes (the second option). Will they suffice, or does the reality of our current situation require us to step into continual evolution of our practice of leadership (option three)?

I work with teams and leaders to create better results through the conscious evolution of our practice of leadership. Let’s create a better future today!

What Is There To Learn Now

3/25/2018

March 25, 2018
Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #67
From the Greenbelt of Boise Idaho, Snowfall transforming

I work with many leaders as a leadership development coach, and our conversations often start with what’s not working in their current situations.

Using this image as context, the story could be its cold and stormy, the path ahead is slippery and uneven, our project is behind and I need a solution to get there now. The tension is heavy often weighing people down.

When we feel the pressure of a situation weighing upon us, we can unconsciously react with patterns we have used throughout our lives:

I’ll take control and drive things forward to get us there once again.
I’ll look for ways to distance and protect myself, and prove why I’m not responsible.
I’ll comply and go along with what’s happening.

An alternative is to consciously stop and consider what is there to learn now?

Here are some powerful questions to consider:

What outcomes would I like to see happen?
How are my reactions getting in my way?
What do I care about creating for myself and those around me?
How do I/we consciously learn and grow as we respond to this situation?

When we unconsciously react with past patterns, we reinforce the habitual grooves we’ve built through our lives. When we pause to reflect and learn we open the possibility for transforming the outcomes and ourselves.

I work with teams and leaders to create better results through the conscious practice of leadership. Let’s create a better future today!

Celebrating the Gifts of a Master

3/18/2018

March 18, 2018
Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #66
From the Greenbelt of Boise Idaho, Spring Snow/Rain

I’m surrounded by the signs of transition as we move from winter to spring. Snow intermixed with rain. Clouds being parted by the sun, trees budding, and the return of birds. Amidst this season of new growth and development I received a gift from a master, Doug Silsbee.

In the martial arts realm, a Sensei is one who has gone before us, and embodies their commitment to show us a way. In the realm of leadership and coaching, Doug is a masterful Sensei.

I was introduced to Doug by a colleague shortly after leaving my career at HP, as he suggested I read Doug’s Presence-Based Coaching book and encouraged me to learn from Doug, saying “what he offers works, and keeps on working.”

Doug introduced me to tools and skills to artfully support the growth and development of others through coaching, and invited me on a journey of self-development and transformation of my leadership amidst the complexity and uncertainty of today’s world.

It is challenging to maintain our balance and creatively respond to the pressures rushing around us. We frequently react out of unconscious patterns that enabled us to survive to this point, yet now get in our way. Doug offered ways to observe myself, my habits and impulses, and practices to develop my presence to consciously create with the context of each moment.

Over the past five years Doug synthesized his work into a set of tools and practices for all of us to creatively engage with the complexity and uncertainty we face. Last week he offered this new gift, Presence-Based Leadership: Complexity Practices for Clarity, Resilience, and Results that Matter. It provides a field guide for navigating the territory. And, it invites us to embark on a journey of self-development and transformation to create a better world in the families, teams, organizations and communities in which we live and work.

Simply reacting from conditioned responses is not enough. Returning to a remembered past is not possible. This point in the history of our world requires evolving our conscious practice of leadership to create a better future. Where we go from here depends on us rising to the occasion.

Doug was unexpectedly diagnosed with cancer six months ago. He continues to embody presence and his living commitment to show us a way. I am eternally grateful for the gifts he shares.

If you’d like to listen to Doug introduce his work, an interview with Amiel Handelsman is available in two parts Part One and Part Two. If you’d like to learn more about programs and practitioners, visit Presence-Based® Coaching.com

I work with teams and leaders to create better results through the conscious practice of presence. Let’s create a better future today!

The Power of Deep Listening

3/6/2018

March 6, 2018
Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #65
From the Greenbelt of Boise Idaho, Sun defrosting the morning chill

Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.
– Karl A. Menninger

I was discussing Listening with a participant of the Leaders Who Coach Program I co-lead. We encourage leaders to listen three-quarters of the time when they’re coaching.

We quickly jumped through several levels of listening:

hearing and ignoring because I’m focusing on something else,
hearing and thinking of what I’m going to say in response,
just hearing what the other person has to say.

We acknowledged that it is easy to be caught in the first two levels, and not really hear the other person. Then we dug a little deeper to explore what it means to go beyond hearing the words to listening deeply.

To listen deeply, our intention shifts from an exchange of information to seeing the other person. Listening with our whole selves we actively reflect and paraphrase what we perceive back. By doing this, we create a sense of being seen and understood, a sense of belonging and connection that Karl Menninger describes “creates us, makes us unfold and expand.”

This kind of listening for what someone cares about, what they feel and sense, and what is unfolding for them can have a transformative impact.

Later in the day I received an email. She’d gone on a walk with a friend who was dealing with a very challenging situation. She practiced and shared deep listening, and it led to a significant shift enabling her friend to create an action plan.

We all experience challenging situations, and need someone who will deeply listen. Cultivating our capacity to deeply listen, develops leadership in ourselves.

I work with teams and leaders to create better results through the conscious practice of leadership. Let’s create a better future today!

Evolving Our Practice of Leadership

What Is There To Learn Now

Celebrating the Gifts of a Master

The Power of Deep Listening

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