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Letting Go of Thinking I Know

1/23/2018

 
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January 23, 2018
Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #62
From the Greenbelt of Boise Idaho, Blustery weather
 

Being at ease with not knowing is crucial for answers to come to you.
– Eckhart Tolle
 
Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. – Gilda Radner
 
The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing. – Socrates
 
Last night I missed a phone call from my brother, and he didn’t leave a message. I made up a story about why he called. When I talked to him, I learned he had an entirely different purpose. Fortunately, I started by asking what was on his mind, rather than launching into my story. It made it easier to let go of my “knowing” and respond to him.
 
The problem is, when “I think I know” I become invested in my conclusions, and less able to discover and create with what’s really happening. I compound this when I insist "I’m right”. Trained through school to know the answer, and as an engineer to come up with the best solution, I’ve spent a lot of my life focusing on “knowing” and “being right”.
 
Here’s an experiment to consider. Think of a time when you went into a conversation with a team or group, or someone you care about, and you knew what was going on, and had an answer for what to do about it. How did that conversation go?
 
I’ve come to realize that I never see the whole situation, and that "thinking I know" gets in my way. Instead, it helps me to imagine possibilities, and curiously explore, expecting new discoveries and options to emerge.
 
It’s our common human response to react to a situation, construct an emotion and create a story using our lived experiences. Our body and brain react to stimuli, predict and act unconsciously to keep us alive. When that’s all we do, we create consequences with those we live and work with. It requires conscious practice to deliberately engage with the intention to discover and create, improvising in the moment together instead of reacting alone.
 
I work with teams and leaders to create better results through the conscious practice of leadership. Let’s create a better future today!

3 Leadership Questions for the New Year

1/7/2018

 
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January 7, 2018
Clear Confident Leader Weekly Observer, Issue #61
From the Greenbelt of Boise Idaho, Sunny Skies


Leader: a person who leads.
 
Lead: to guide on a way or direct on a course.
 
Leadership: the capacity to lead.
– Merriam-Webster.com
 
We become what we practice.
– Richard Strozzi-Heckler
 


As a Leadership Coach, I hear a lot of questions about leadership. Here are three I find helpful to reflect upon.
 

1.  Who is a Leader? 
We often assign the word “leader” to someone with a title or position, or someone having great influence during a moment in time. Yet, the definition of a leader is “a person that leads”, and to lead is “to guide on a way, or direct on a course” (Merriam-Webster.com).
 
In this context, we all lead our own lives, and influence those around us by guiding or directing as we fulfill roles with our families and friends, teams and organizations, and communities. Interdependent, we’re always leading and following each other. We choose our course and accept ways of being, consciously and unconsciously each day. Our opportunity is to claim our role as leaders and consciously choose when and how we lead and follow.
 
We can consciously choose our own direction, even in dire circumstances. As Holocaust survivor, neurologist and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl shared, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
 
Consider, when and how am I choosing to lead and follow?
 

2.  What are we creating? 
As events arise, our biology reacts quickly checking for intention, is this a threat to my survival, imagined or real? Our predictive brains create interpretations based on patterns of memory and experience. We then react to what we perceive with the conditioned responses embedded in our bodies.

Our unconscious capacity to react reinforces the same patterns, and can stand in the way of creating better results, new outcomes, and a brighter future. Our opportunity is to pause between stimulus and reaction to consider what we want to create.

To create requires clear intentionality, and the presence to make mindful choices in the moment. To paraphrase one of my teachers, Kimbal Anderson, “it takes great courage and focused attention to create with each of the mundane events of daily life.” It is easier to just react to what arises without thinking about what we’re creating.
 
Consider, what is it I want to create in the situations I experience?
 

3.  Why develop our capacity to lead? 
We are incredibly adaptive beings, and we entrain to the communities in which we live, learn and work. This is why “culture eats strategy for breakfast.”
 
To paraphrase Einstein, “we can’t solve today’s problems with the same level of leadership that created them.” Our future and that of those who follow us, depends upon our evolving to greater levels of leadership.
 
To develop new capacities, we must engage with teachers and communities that practice the skills we want to develop. Developing mastery requires refined practice with the guidance of someone who has gone before us, and who is able to teach and show us the way. It requires us to consciously evolve our practice of leadership.
 
Consider, where and how do I consciously evolve my practice of leadership?
 
I work with teams and leaders to create better results through the conscious practice of leadership, cultivating resilient effectiveness and compassionate action. Let’s create a better future today!


    A Clear Confident Leader engages, inspires, and assists people to develop themselves, enabling them to create new possibilities and a better future today.

    ​The Observer focuses on practical steps to generate clarity, confidence, and leadership in ourselves and those around us. 

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